strcightfire.

^{this hadn’t just been another loss for sami, she knew that. she’d known that when she went searching for him. she’d known that when she found him stock-still in one of the side halls. this wasn’t just a loss because it was one of many losses in the last few months and she knew it felt like he was suffocating. she knew because she had been there herself and there was nothing she could offer him. no magic fix. no words to say that would make it better.}

^{she leans against the wall next to him as he talks. despite the soft chuckle there’s no humor in any of it and her face shows her concern, her sadness. he’s right, neither of them won out their tonight, but he had fought and clawed for that chance. it wasn’t the same. becky was beyond lucky to get the opportunities given to her but the women’s roster didn’t even reach half the number of the men’s and who was to say when his next chance would be.}

^{she opened her mouth to tell him he had nothing to apologize for when his hand slammed into the wall. BANG. becky couldn’t help but jump; the frustration and the anger across sami’s face as he spoke was heartbreaking. and as soon as the rage flooded him, it was gone. it left him exhausted and upset like the ash remains of a wildfire.}

^{her movements are slow because he’s still on edge. it ripples under his skin and in the tenseness of his muscles. but still becky moves toward him and takes his hand in her own two. she stares down at it as her thumbs gently brush the already bruises knuckles. “ i wish ya could see what i see…what finn sees…what mick saw…what countless others in t’is locker room know ya have. and you’re right,  i DO want ya ta win — not fer me. not ta prove anythin’. hell, ya could be gettin’ yer ass handed to ya by nikki bella, like breeze fer all i care…don’t ever apologize ta me fer stumblin’. apologize ta me when ya don’t get the hell back up. ”}

         ^{there was a time — one that, perhaps, was only just not so long ago — that he would have done nothing but GRINNED at this. the sight of his girlfriend  would have brought nothing but overwhelming JOY to his heart and he would have been able to bring a bout a large smile so EASILY to his features as he told her that everything will be okay and maybe it’ll be better next year, but… at this point, he felt like this was getting pathetic, REPETITIVE       like becky was getting tired of having a failure as a boyfriend.}

          ^{jaw GRIPS as she comes forward, but any PAIN is swallowed down.  BURY IT DEEPER. BURY IT DEEPER.  a curt nod to the other as a sort of THANKS for the offer of SYMPATHY. it was known he wanted to be SUCCESSFUL no matter what it took, and he could take losses        that wasn’t what he was sad about, he was sad that he was disappointing her, which was the LAST thing he wanted.} 

          ^{despite the dark state that he was in, his heart did LIFT some at the feeling of her gentle rubs against his bruised skin and hearing the woman’s reassuring words. it’s enough to produce, perhaps not a jubilant grin, but a very FAINT upturn of lips underneath scruffy beard. it’s hard to see but it’s there: the tinniest SLIMMER of happiness. then it falls, aching soul not yet ready to be so CHEERFUL at the world, and sami inclines and shoulders follow with slumping.} 

         ^{❝     becks — I’M SORRY…     ❞     words, that he felt, NEEDED to be said once again. he’s not sure what, exactly, they’re meant for. an apology for his loss. an apology for acting out just a moment ago. an apology not getting better… maybe an apology for ALL of it, if one could load SO MUCH behind just one plea.     ❝     it’s just… it’s frustrating, y’know ?  this isn’t even about me constantly losing… it’s just that i’m afraid that you’ll leave me for because of it, but now that you told me that that’s not the case, i guess i freaked out for nothing, huh ?     ❞     he weakly chuckled, lightly tugging her hand while bringing her forth, wrapping her in his arms, to where his hand cupped to the back of her neck beneath her longer strands, while the other had caressed over her back, resting his head atop of hers.     ❝     thanks. i love you, becky.     ❞     his words voiced through her hair, as a faint smile grew against her hairline.}