perdiitvs-deactivated20170408 left stardust,
“ tell me what hurts ”

sami is hurt… again. // accepting.

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     He wasn’t sure how  LONG  he had been there  —-  how many meals he had missed  —-  how many days of Paige wondering where he was had gone by?   He wasn’t sure anymore. But he was here with her now.  The only thing Sami was sure of now was the  BLOOD  dripping from his lips and the pain searing through his ribs with each breath he took.   The pain was growing so great that his breaths were becoming shallower and shallower by the moment.   Sami kept his eyes closed, one was already swollen shut from the daily beatings  —  the other fluttered open at Paige’s voice but he was too tired to even lift his head.

      “It’s  —  it’s okay…”     He knew it wasn’t.   He knew this would worry here even more, or maybe it wouldn’t.   Sami was angry with himself, for making Paige clean up his mess again.      “I’ll be fine.”

perdiitvs-deactivated20170408 left stardust,
"You don’t need to be so gentle.”

starter sentences. // accepting.

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           WAS SHE EVER REALLY GOING TO FEEL WORTHY OF KINDNESS?  Sami knew the answer to that question but it wasn’t something he enjoyed dwelling on often.   She was not okay and she wouldn’t be for a long time. He could see the sadness like a deep well in Paige’s eyes and a small voice in the back of his own mind told him he was being CARING TOO MUCH FOR HIS OWN GOOD by not giving up on her even though she tried to push him away many times. His heart was heavy and his mind was tired. Sami didn’t know what to say at this point, he had half a mind to throw his hands in the air in frustration because he wanted to mean something more to Paige. Sami wanted Paige to see herself the way he saw Paige but he knew it was hopeless.     “Stop… just stop it.  I’m going to take care of you and be gentle toward you because you NEED it, okay? You don’t deserve anything less.”

perdiitvs.

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      “And you just expect for everything to be okay?” she couldn’t just waltz in and pick up where everything left off ; that’s not the way things worked. Throughout her absence and disappearance from the company, Paige’s isolation has become more apparent, the loneliness was more comforting than someone’s company or having a girls night out with those that still kept in touch with her. Tons of wrong decisions had been made, and only she could make amends…but HOW if she didn’t even know where to start?

      Rather than continuing to talk, it’s as though she almost LEANED onto the touch against her pale shoulder, thankful that her hair was able to obscure her vision and conceal her facial expression. GODDAMMIT she hated feeling so goddamn feeble and BROKEN ; how she despised seeing herself as a victim when in all honesty, she wasn’t even WORTHY of being anything. “You’re wastin’ your time, Sami –” she didn’t dare shove the man away, but it was obvious that convincing her was going to be a lot easier said than done…and that alone was enough to hint at the PAIN within. “–there’s nothin’ to talk about, either. What’s done is done and I can’t take back what I did to everyone around me, and I probably deserve all the flak I’ve been gettin’ from EVERYONE, so jus’ worry about your safety and your health. ‘s more important at this point, anyway.

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            He can see the   pain   swimming in the other’s eyes.  Though Sami is unsure as to where it comes from exactly.   WHAT WAS HIDDEN COILED IN HER RIBS?   What force of nature made her think she was unworthy of kindness?  it took him aback for a moment, to hear the pain laced in her words.  to see her broken and sad  —-  Sami could feel his chest grow warm with irritation.  Not at her, of course, but who or whatever caused her to think SO LOW of herself.  He was going to find out but now he was staring into Paige’s eyes with concern.

            He was drowning in the gaze he held with the other.   Like a death grip  —-  almost  -—  but something about it felt secure.   Maybe that was wishful thinking.   For a moment a boyfriend instinct rushed over him.  Sami wanted to make her feel good  —- wanted him to pull her close and tell her how much she meant to him.  He wanted the pained expression on her face to cease. It was almost like he could feel the weight Paige felt.  There was a   fear   there that almost terrified Sami. A hand hardened by a life of hard-pressed survival cupped her cheek, thumb grazing on the pale skin. He used the other hand to brush away the bangs covering her forehead to press a gentle kiss on it before pulling away.      “If you need some space, I’ll go but I have to tell you that you are important. You are good enough. You are worth it, you understand that? I’m not wasting my time, and I’m not giving up on you, so please don’t give up on yourself. Listen       I don’t know what’s going on with you or what’s been happening, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here, alright? Always.”

(Source: inzaynityy)

@perdiitvs // continued from here.

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            EYES LOWER TO THE GROUND; how long had it been since he had been staying there? Forever, no doubt. Even when she got cold and distant, when had been especially CRUEL to him, by any means to further PUSH her away and out of her life. He was still standing here. He was always here ; it was not in his nature to give up on someone. Their strained friendship caused things to become complicated and the two stopped speaking to each other as a result. But when the time finally came, she responded to his attempt of regaining her trust, it tugged at his heart strings. What was she saying?  Did she not know him at all?

                       (  no… don’t do this… don’t do this to me   )

          “Paige, I don’t know what’s been happening, what’s gotten into you, or what’s wrong, but… I’m here for you. I’ll always be. I’m not like everybody else. I’m not going to get tired or bored of you and I know it’s been a while since we’ve spoken but that’s because I wanted to give you some space.”      Tentatively, he reached out to gently place a hand on her shoulder,      “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. Just know that I still think of you as my friend and I’m not gonna give up on you.”