strcightfire.

His words surprised her. This wasn’t about how it made HIM feel but instead how he thought it made HER feel? For a moment she feared that was how he thought of her. Was she putting pressure on him? Did he think she was the type of person to care about all that? Her own insecurities bubbled up until he took her in his arms. In a blink it was gone.

“ I told ya before, Sami, ya apologize t’ me again and I’ll hulk out and suplex ya – I’m kinda on a roll wit’ Ellsworth… ” she murmured, smiling ever so slightly as she hugged him close. Her head against his chest she listened to the sound of his heartbeat and reveled in how SAFE she felt. More than anything she wanted to be that place for him too. A place where he didn’t need to worry about any of that; no doubts in what they were or what they had. Becky desperately want Sami to win — but only because HE needed it. He wanted to feel like he was worth it for her. She knew for a fact he was, ring skills aside, sure, but watching him in that ring was amazing. He was fluid and precise and even when the matches didn’t take the turns he wanted, he put his soul into it all. It captivated her. The win was a way for him to see that. To understand that she would stand with him no matter what: wins, losses, injuries, championships.

“ I love ya too, and no amount of losses or wins is gonna change t’at. You’re stuck with me, Zayn… ” She pulled back slightly to put her chin on his chest, looking up at him. “ Ya told me you’d never hurt me…and I realized I never made t’at same promise — but I’m here now. PROMISING ya t’at I won’t hurt you either. I won’t walk away from t’is. ”

     ^{FAULT WAS ONE OF HIS OWN, and perhaps being as heartbroken as he was ? caused the result of all, this. something that could of been easily avoided, if only he’d talked before his emotions got stacked even further - but his actions always spoke much louder than his words, he wouldn’t be as far in his career if he hadn’t done just that. now ? wasn’t any exception. with his arms still wrapped around her body, he’d dove to her lips to express his deepest gratitude, feeling the instability of their relationship sturdy with the affectionate gesture. longing their embrace as long as they’d allow, a soft click had caused their departure, to where he heartily starred into her warm, bronzed reflection, with right hand cupped to her cheek, letting his thumb brush against her pale surface, solemnly swearing to her that such a scare would never occur again; at least when it came to him communicating with her.} 

       ^{THE WORDS ARE SO FOREIGN,      they hurt his head. UNCOMFORTABLE tightness at the very back of his jaw; his mouth cracks when he opens and shuts it         temple breaking into a headache he’s desperate to nurse under the careful behavior of two fingertips.    BECKY WOULD NEVER HURT HIM..    really ?  is this the confirmation of her loyalty ?  her love ?  is this the phrase that solidifies everything in his chest, a locked vault finally opened ?      ❝      BECKY…     ❞      he clears his throat, and the sound is rough       he coughs, the sound husky.      ❝      that’s…   ❞     and suddenly, he realizes he must look and sound so negative. he must sound like he’s hesitating, freaking out. but he’s not.    SAMI IS IN LOVE,    but his heart his frightened by words he’s never heard.      ❝     that’s so great to hear. thank you.     ❞     he said, voice a bit more cheery,         ❝        that outburst won’t happen again. if something’s eating me up, i’ll be sure to tell you before it gets out of hand.      ❞     he nodded with a small smile, blinking the moisture that’d welted in his orbs.}

strcightfire.

“ Travel toget’er? Well, I’m definitely takin’ navigation, Zayn. I’ve watched t’at Ride Along – we’re not missin’ an exit t’ree times! ” she teased, prodding him in the chest with her finger. Still, she couldn’t keep the smile from her face at the idea of him being here. “ I t’ink maybe you and me against Carmella and her little weasel would work quite well in our favor…..I really am glad you’re here. ”

   ^{there is, at first, a playful FROWN on his features caused by her teasing but it didn’t take too long to turn into a smile      he was way too ecstatic to keep up the act for a while. though, he was a little embarrassed.        ❝          ah, c’mon ! don’t be like that !        ❞      his free hands shot out, grasping her arm and tugging her forward, enveloping her in a crushing bear hug. he squeezed her before snatching her off the ground and spinning her in a circle, his face split into one of his trademark grins that seemed–impossibly so–100% more potent in terms of how infectious it was. releasing her, he nodded enthusiastically at the suggestion.     ❝      yeah, i heard they’ve been givin’ you a hard time as of late. i got your back. no worries.      ❞      he was so close to pulling her into another hug, just barely restraining himself from doing so.        ❝      and I’m glad to be here too ! everything’s feel fresh, y’know ?  this is exactly what I needed !      ❞}    

       ^{❝      becky, you know what this means ?  you’re officially stuck with me !  we can travel together and stuff !  maybe we could be in a mix tag match in the future, even !      ❞}  

^{@strcightfire  /  starter call.}

strcightfire.

^{this hadn’t just been another loss for sami, she knew that. she’d known that when she went searching for him. she’d known that when she found him stock-still in one of the side halls. this wasn’t just a loss because it was one of many losses in the last few months and she knew it felt like he was suffocating. she knew because she had been there herself and there was nothing she could offer him. no magic fix. no words to say that would make it better.}

^{she leans against the wall next to him as he talks. despite the soft chuckle there’s no humor in any of it and her face shows her concern, her sadness. he’s right, neither of them won out their tonight, but he had fought and clawed for that chance. it wasn’t the same. becky was beyond lucky to get the opportunities given to her but the women’s roster didn’t even reach half the number of the men’s and who was to say when his next chance would be.}

^{she opened her mouth to tell him he had nothing to apologize for when his hand slammed into the wall. BANG. becky couldn’t help but jump; the frustration and the anger across sami’s face as he spoke was heartbreaking. and as soon as the rage flooded him, it was gone. it left him exhausted and upset like the ash remains of a wildfire.}

^{her movements are slow because he’s still on edge. it ripples under his skin and in the tenseness of his muscles. but still becky moves toward him and takes his hand in her own two. she stares down at it as her thumbs gently brush the already bruises knuckles. “ i wish ya could see what i see…what finn sees…what mick saw…what countless others in t’is locker room know ya have. and you’re right,  i DO want ya ta win — not fer me. not ta prove anythin’. hell, ya could be gettin’ yer ass handed to ya by nikki bella, like breeze fer all i care…don’t ever apologize ta me fer stumblin’. apologize ta me when ya don’t get the hell back up. ”}

         ^{there was a time — one that, perhaps, was only just not so long ago — that he would have done nothing but GRINNED at this. the sight of his girlfriend  would have brought nothing but overwhelming JOY to his heart and he would have been able to bring a bout a large smile so EASILY to his features as he told her that everything will be okay and maybe it’ll be better next year, but… at this point, he felt like this was getting pathetic, REPETITIVE       like becky was getting tired of having a failure as a boyfriend.}

          ^{jaw GRIPS as she comes forward, but any PAIN is swallowed down.  BURY IT DEEPER. BURY IT DEEPER.  a curt nod to the other as a sort of THANKS for the offer of SYMPATHY. it was known he wanted to be SUCCESSFUL no matter what it took, and he could take losses        that wasn’t what he was sad about, he was sad that he was disappointing her, which was the LAST thing he wanted.} 

          ^{despite the dark state that he was in, his heart did LIFT some at the feeling of her gentle rubs against his bruised skin and hearing the woman’s reassuring words. it’s enough to produce, perhaps not a jubilant grin, but a very FAINT upturn of lips underneath scruffy beard. it’s hard to see but it’s there: the tinniest SLIMMER of happiness. then it falls, aching soul not yet ready to be so CHEERFUL at the world, and sami inclines and shoulders follow with slumping.} 

         ^{❝     becks — I’M SORRY…     ❞     words, that he felt, NEEDED to be said once again. he’s not sure what, exactly, they’re meant for. an apology for his loss. an apology for acting out just a moment ago. an apology not getting better… maybe an apology for ALL of it, if one could load SO MUCH behind just one plea.     ❝     it’s just… it’s frustrating, y’know ?  this isn’t even about me constantly losing… it’s just that i’m afraid that you’ll leave me for because of it, but now that you told me that that’s not the case, i guess i freaked out for nothing, huh ?     ❞     he weakly chuckled, lightly tugging her hand while bringing her forth, wrapping her in his arms, to where his hand cupped to the back of her neck beneath her longer strands, while the other had caressed over her back, resting his head atop of hers.     ❝     thanks. i love you, becky.     ❞     his words voiced through her hair, as a faint smile grew against her hairline.}

                             ^{IT  WAS  BOUND  TO  HAPPEN,  SOONER  OR  LATER.   his discomfort with the setting is too obvious, he sticks out no matter how badly he attempts to hide it. he doesn’t  QUITE  startle at the other’s approach, but he does manage something akin to surprise.     ❝     well… looks like we were the unlucky ones, right ?       ❞       he stammers out, nervously chuckling afterwards. then, there was an unsettling silence        one that caused his skin to break out in goosebumps from the restless energy he could feel humming just beneath his skin, from not just the nervousness, but the embarrassment he felt. he was sure that becky knew that he couldn’t win every single match       she wasn’t delusional, but still, it seemed like sami was going nowhere. he isn’t making any progress, he’s STUCK. however, for becky, she could easily get up off the ground and wipe the dust off of her and climb to the top of the mountain quickly, in his mind, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit JEALOUS of that.     ❝      i-i’m sorry, becks…     ❞      he finally managed, after a good few seconds of opening and closing his mouth like a fish.}

                            ^{and without thinking,  a fist is brought to the wall in a loud    BANG !     ❝      I KNOW I KEEP SAYING I WILL WIN, I WILL DO SOMETHING MEMORABLE, BUT I KEEP FAILING AND COMING UP SHORT EVERY TIME AND I HATE IT. I HATE IT, AND I’M SORRY FOR LETTING YOU DOWN.      ❞     he knows as soon as the words leave  his  lips  like venom  that he is  wrong; wrong; wrong; but he can’t stop the words from  leaving his mouth now as he locks a fervent gaze to the now dented wall he had taken his rage out on.       ❝   i’m sorry… for everything, becks, i’m sorry…      ❞     vision blurred as tears sprang in his eyes, then he SQUEEZES them shut. he can’t complain. he can’t breakdown. that’s not who sami zayn is. not like this…}

@strcightfire / starter call.

strcightfire.

^{“ ….I dunno. I wish I could tell ya the answer — I wish I could shake t’at woman by her shoulders and make her treat ya like ya deserve. But honestly, I dunno….and I hate sayin’ t’at to ya because I’ve been t’ere. I felt like t’at before the brand split. I felt like every time I stepped t’rough the damn curtain someone was usin’ me to make a statement t’at usually ended with me starin’ up at t’em arena lights. I just….I don’t want ya ta lose yerself, Sami. ”}

     ^{❝       i-it’s fine. i understand. i’m not losing myself, i’m just FRUSTRATED, but still, i guess i have to keep going because sitting here and complaining won’t make anything better. i am happy for you, though. congratulations on being everything that i’m not. i mean it.      ❞}      

strcightfire.

^{“ Sami…what’s happenin’ to ya on RAW? T’at has nothin’ to do with yer talent. T’at has to do with people like Stephanie McMahon and Triple H wantin’ to see ya fail because ya won’t sit t’ere and take t’eir power trip. Do ya hear the cheers fer you out in t’at ring? Do ya understand how much the fans luv ya? You’re makin’ the best outuva rock and hard place. “}

       ^{❝     i know that, but what if the support isn’t ENOUGH ?  what if my wrestling isn’t ENOUGH ?  i mean, i could go out there and have a 5-star match, but i will still be seen as nothing but a  WASTE OF SPACE  in steph’s eyes. and y’know, since she doesn’t like listening to fans, i doubt the support will get me anywhere either though it is nice to hear, don’t get me wrong. so… what can i do, huh ?!  are there any other options left ?!     ❞}    

strcightfire.

^{He hadn’t said anything. Not a word. And the seconds were beginning to feel like minutes. Because even though she trusted him in her heart, her HEAD was an anxious mess. It was scanning through every possibility in which he walked away from her now, dropped the hand he now held in his own and never looked back. But she took a breath and tried to focus; his touch, the soft brush of his thumb against the back of her hand, it brought her back to the moment. Becky held just a bit tighter yet he made no move to pull away like she feared. Instead, Sami looked her in the eyes with such honest pouring from his gaze. And he promised.}

^{She believed him…she did. She wanted to. Needed to. So she pushed past whatever tiny nagging voice in her head reminded her of the endless LIST of people who had stabbed her in the past, pushed her down, used her to reach their goals. None of those people had been the man in front of her. And maybe she’d have to remind herself of that. Maybe she’d have to shake herself and stop from fretting over something he’d said or did. But she could for him.} 

^{And before any of that worry could cloud her mind, she leaned up on her toes and met his kiss halfway. Her arms encircled his neck and she smiled against his lips. “ T’ank you… ” she said, honestly, resting her forehead against his. “ I suppose t’en…you’re stuck with me now. Poor bastard. Tell me if ya ever want a Bex-plex, put ya outta your misery. ”}

      ^{IN   NO   WAY   WAS   HE   MADE   TO   FEEL   UNCOMFORTABLE.     the complete opposite, rather     despite the abundant tension, the WEIGHT of it seemed to appease him, like   HEAVY   GRAVITY   ON   HIS   SHOULDERS.   this is not something he’s ever done before, but becky was way different compared to others. he’d be lying if he said their interactions didn’t make him dizzy  ( their gazes, the shared laughs and smiles ). so that’s why he came off hesitant at first, not because he was afraid of relationships, but he was intimidated by her and thought confessing his feelings wouldn’t be the best idea         he was so THANKFUL that he turned out to be wrong. and now, he found great composure so that’s why when she encircles her arms around her neck. he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her waist,} 

      ^{HE   DOESN’T   KNOW   HOW   HE   GOT   INTO   A   SITUATION   THIS    LIKE    THIS    AGAIN,      but he thinks if there’s ANYONE he’d let into his heart, it’s her       becky, sympathetic and compassionate, delivering words that make his insides shake. becky, a woman versed in violence and power. she speaks, and the world stills, hushed at the tone of her voice, an ear to the ground.   AND   HE   WOULD   BE   LYING   if he said he wasn’t grateful for it       if anything, sami is inclined to drown in her statements. forehead pressed against hers, eyes closed, sami manages a quiet reply.      ❝     nooo, i don’t think i would ever want any of those, trust me.     ❞     he says with a soft chuckle.   HE   MIGHT   BE   AFRAID   OF   FIRE,      but her excitement is a kindling he can tolerate         he   LOVES   it, even, DELIGHTS in her joy and her teasing.      ❝     and you say ‘you’re stuck with me now’ like it’s a bad thing. it’s not. i’m pretty sure i’m the luckiest man alive, becks.     ❞}  

^{come ship w/ me. // accepting.  |  @strcightfire}

^{YES !!! i can’t articulate how much i love this ship. they can relate to each other in so many ways and their chemistry is amazing !  we should do all the things with them  (  especially angst  ). <3}

strcightfire.

^{“ Yeah, well I guess both our nerves are screwed t’en, huh…? I’m — not good but I’m  o k a y . Scout’s honor. Their reason is I’m better than t’em and t’ey know it. If I have to take a few bumps or break off a few arms t’prove t’at, I will….what about you? You okay? REALLY okay? ”}

      ^{❝     y-yeah, i’m a-okay for someone who takes way more beatings than you do and perhaps more damaging. i know i get myself into these things, but there’s a purpose. i just need to get my point across       i need something, y’know ?  you were the first ever smackdown women’s champion and the first female draftee, but what do I have ? what’s MY reputation ?     ❞}